One essential component of getting your ex back is to have the right mentality. If you jump into making up with them before you’ve left the tears and desperation behind it will take much longer to succeed.
Here’s why this is true…your ex is looking for a change. If you come back at them with apologies and promises they won’t be interested because that is the same stuff they finally left behind. However, if you can entice them with new reasons to fall in love, you’ll have a much better chance to attract their attention.
So a big key to fixing a break up is to begin by moving on. Accept the fact that you have been dumped. Be honest with yourself and think about why your ex wasn’t satisfied with the relationship. This is not easy to do, and a lot of people try to ignore the truth by choosing to believe they were the best boyfriend/girlfriend possible. But if this were true then you wouldn’t be in this situation – right?
Once you have come to grips with the real reasons your ex left you can start to make changes. Did they leave you because you were too clingy? Was it because you were always complaining about everything? Perhaps your love life was suffering? You get the picture…figure out what it was and work on fixing it. The catch is your ex is not going to settle for promises. You need to prove you are a different person before they’ll listen to any pitches about getting back together.
Somewhere in all this you should ask yourself if you really want to make changes. If your ex left you for who you are, then perhaps you should look in another direction. It all depends on how comfortable and confident you are in yourself. Now if you got dumped because they were sick of you not having a job then this would be something you should probably work on. The ultimate questions is…do you want to be the person your ex is attracted to?
The biggest challenge you will face in making up with your ex is persistence and motivation. You simply can’t change the way you think, feel and act in one day. This is why I recommend setting small goals along the way. If want to lose 20 pounds then shoot for 2 pounds a week. Need to get your life back on track? Start by working on your resume, or getting back into school. Small goals are more achievable and they allow you to focus on multiple actions simultaneously.
Keep in mind your ex is looking for a change…something different from the relationship you used to have together. Show them you want the same thing by making strides towards a better life.
